Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Judgement


There is one in us that says ‘go on’
One other that says ‘quit’
Both are right, I wonder
In different places, both fit!

The one that says ‘go on’
Gives you the might you crave
To fight your fiercest fears
And in face of trials, be brave.

The one that asks you to quit
Gives you the wisdom you need
To let up on enslaving pursuits
And in face of snares, be freed.

Ageless question that there is
Which to heed in a moment
When to push through the wall
And when to remain content.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Trading Dreams

If dreams could be bought and sold, 
There are some ages old 
That I can trade for a few 
Delicately made anew 

Some yours for me 
Some mine for you 

For if I go on further from here 
Longing that which I endear 
And have been for so long 
That now I belong 
To them more than they to me 
And knowing fully 
That a path that meanders 
Beyond one's ken and blurs 
Into woods, ought 
To be trodden if not 
With a wanton heed 
Then with judgment instead, 

I shall be leaving behind 
More but merely doors 
Ajar, perhaps a mind 
Only closed, that sees shores 
Clashing with tide 
And thinks that ocean alone 
Hath to offer on other side 
A new world or even a horizon.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Underwater

All you need at times
Is put your feet under water
Let currents splash
On your ankles
And take away all
That is sore
From toe, from head
And all between them!

Saturday, May 6, 2017

A Leap Beyond Your Fears

You can only take baby steps to reach the edge. The cuffs they tie around your ankles let you move only a few inches a time. In effect, a short distance of a few meters feels twice as much. But there is something bigger that acts upon you and multiplies that distance manifold – your fear. Each time you look down to see those cuffs, you can’t help but peek through the metal bars underneath. You know it is going to get scarier once you are at the end of the ledge.

Instructions start and you are having troubles catching everything. They tell you not to worry, but you do. They tell you not to be scared, but you are. They tell you not to look down, but you end up doing that anyway. Something inside tells you it is a bad idea. But something equally strong also says that you can’t go back from here, that you are as good as those before you and that if they could take the leap, why can’t you. It all boils down to you sizing yourself up against them – like you always have elsewhere too.

But you can only hold that thought for so long before another ominous one resurfaces – what if you are not as good, what if you fail where everyone else has not…. What if you are not what they think you are? You are almost ready to hit the panic button, when a voice pulls you out of your dilemma, “Your turn sir!” Well, from frying pan to fire!

You stand up, start to move and your mind is diverted off those thoughts. You are still afraid but because you get busy, you are less disquieted. Doesn’t that always happen!

Cometh the moment! There is 272 feet of thin air between your toes and the ground below and soon enough your heels will come off the brim too. Your breath gets heavy – your head light. The countdown begins one… two… three.

You don’t take two steps back - it’s not going to be a flight of your imagination but face off with your fears. You just let yourself free and lean forward as if resigning to a force that overwhelms you from head to toe. Yes, you start with surrendering and then fight your way out. As you ready yourself to lose before you can win, countdown begins one… two… three. And you jump!

You shut your eyes hoping this is going to make it easier – thinking you shall open it when it is all over. After all it barely lasts a minute. But time has slowed down or your brain is working at superhuman speed. When you open them, you are still speeding down. Gravity is acting on you – fast… faster…. almost as if it is going to gulp you down with all your ego and spit you out next to leave you trembling but also pure. Yeah, gravity is a bitch – it always has been!

As you open your eyes, you move from denial to acknowledging your demons to finally being able to face them. Now that you have lost it all, you realize there is nothing more to lose. The state of total surrender befalls you. And before you know it, the twitch in your eyes gives way to smile on your face. The faster you approach the ground, the sooner you want to embrace it – almost in a fit of derangement, almost as if you are on wings.

But before misery-turned-mirth turns into mishap and you are consumed by your own delirium, something pulls you up. You come out of your head trip with a jolt to your ankle and back to existence. After your mind, it is your body’s turn to oscillate itself to steadiness.

As you are lowered down to the ground, you can’t stop wondering what would have happened but for that rope. There is a big smile on your face – but you also feel a little thankful. You are excited for sure – but you also are a little relieved for getting this over with. You probably would even be planning for your next leap, but not because you think you’ve got wings – it’s because you know there is something that will bring you back from your trip. For more often than you think that one rope you have been blaming all along for not letting you fly is also the one that keeps you from hitting the ground.

***


This is an over-dramatized version of what one may feel up there. As such, bungee is not this scary. Neither doing it will cure all your fears. There are much bigger ones in life some of which are not as easy to overcome as this one – you just hope to learn to live with them. 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

जो बरसे इस बार

जो बरसे इस बार, तो तर जाना

मुकद्दर से बेमौसम बरसात हुई है
बनता है तबीयत का सुधर जाना,
जो बरसे इस बार...

सिर से पाँव, रूह तलक भी भींग लो
वाजिब कई मर्तबा है बेपरवाही का हरजाना,
जो बरसे इस बार...

घुमड़ते बादलों से पूछना कूचा उनका
गर मान गए, संग अपने उनको भी घर लाना,
जो बरसे इस बार...

गिरते बूंदों की साज, परिंदों के नगमें सुनो
छोड़ कर बिजली के ठहाकों से डर जाना,
जो बरसे इस बार...

मुद्दत से बची एक प्यास है हलक में,
दिख गया जो दरिया, उतर जाना,
जो बरसे इस बार..