WHAT DIV C SAID LAST YEAR

What Div C Said Last Year...

Heyyy Div C we are ½ MBAs now. Now we can fool people half the time and get away with it. And we are soon gonna conduct a test of it on corporate guinea pigs for a whole 2 month time. And those who are best at it will not be required to prove themselves again in coming final placement season and I wish good luck to each one of us.

Well apart from what we did to earn this expertise, we did some other great stuff too last year. Without sounding hyperbolic, I must say that 08-09 has really been a roller coaster ride. We broke paths (orange revolution), invented new traditions (Dhok), made others learn how to lose to us (Fahrenheit, Sports Week) and turned others into green and red with our bitter taste. They say C division was not a division; it was disruption, distraction, digression. Whatever but we were The Difference. We did differently, we saw differently and....................... we said differently.

So here are the top 20 things that Div C said last year.... Well the rankings are subjective. People may differ and will differ yet it is my ‘perception’ only. Some instructions before you fasten your seat belts:

1. 1. Some parts of this post may contain some mildly unparliamentary words or connotations. But I believe there are no MPs in our division except two who however are not parliamentarians but much above that --- Mayank Presidents. But I feel they won’t take objections to it.

2. 2. At some very few places I have unsuccessfully tried to pull legs. I hope this is taken sportingly. However if someone gets hurt by its contents, please take a Centre Fresh in your mouth, call me and give as many curses as make you feel relieved.

3. 3. I’ve started with a descending order however if you people are short of time you can reduce the list to top 10 and start from #11.

So here it goes........

#20. “LET’S SUPPOSE”: Let’s suppose he had a little more hair on his head, wouldn’t he have given many a chase for their honey? Here is my older..... errrrr.. elder brother (angreji thodi kamjor hai bhai). Chauri ka bada bhai Pachauri. The tough guy with a good heart! Cipla (Shilpa), next year when you will be presenting things on VLCC, have this guy in your group. No one will be as emphatic as him.

#19. “I DONT CAYER”: I don’t cayer even if it is our much regarded and equally feared Dean Sir taking class. I will sleep and I don’t give a damn. Our hussy Tussy.

#18. “MOTEEEE...”: The second only girl entry in the chart. The other one is shared however. That’s what she addresses most of us with. And when she calls u that, you wonder whether you can reciprocate the same. Our very own Matey.

#17. “SUMMIT KI MEETING HAI”: Welcome to the IT cell of NMIMS. And meet the very m+o+d+e+s+t Shubhanshu ‘Donald Duck’. This is the reason that you will get most of the times when he refuses to come with you. The meeting will take place at a very grand place (Quad), there will be a number of participants (that figure can astonishingly go as high as 3) and it will take quite some time (till you can go, pee and come back).

#16. “I WAS IN CYPRUS”: I am not kidding you, almost all of us could remember his name only after we started saying ‘yes that quiet guy who has been in Cyprus’. Our very sincere bro Roopam.

#15. “YEH BAHUT HI SAHI THA”: I hope at the end of this blog someone in his/her comments can write these words Badwaz style. This is what our very very humble and socially responsible President (unfortunately in 5-6 years he is going to be demoted to CEO level at Essar/Reliance) utters when he finds something surprisingly good. Another of his more frequent expression was a big contender for this rank..... ‘BASICALLY’... count how many times he speaks it when he is making some presentation. My count once went to 22.

#14. “BE CIVILIZED”: In all probability I may get these two fearful words in my comments section by Nihal.

#13. “AGREED... BUT”: Agreed to disagree or disagreed to agree?? That seems to be the driving motto of our mimicking king Swapnil (Sahil doesn’t lag much behind either). Probably there is only one person in the universe who can make him agree or rather leave him with no other choice but to agree... our revered CDG sir. Thankfully he is not taking any class for marketing guys.

#12. “AREY! HUM ENGINEER HAI BHAI”: “Which one? Akshita like? Padhaku?” “Arey nahi nahi. The usual one.” Not someone who goes to bed at 11 and wakes up at 5 but one who goes to bed at 5 and wakes up at 11. The Mumbai Mirror star... Arpit.

#11. “WHAT IZ THISS?”: Well the same ‘takiya-kalam’ is shared by two. Darbari Harqat Ali Khan alias Chappoooo and Mayee alias Harshika (Oops wrong number!!! Mayee was trying Local call in Andheri and Chappoo... well). Hope that Chappoo’s ‘Men’s Liberation’ campaign doesn’t reach Mayee’s place on May 12.

#10. “AREY BHAIIIIIIII...........”: Hamare hindi ke pracharak evam prasarak (our Hindi spreader and campaigner) shriman Kaptan Bhole alias Garry. The true representative of the rich Indian culture and the highest ranked engineer (HRE)of our class (IT, BHU). All the girls in our class should take classes in HR from him (he got a coveted 20 out of 20!!!!)

#9. “BUTTTTTTT.....”: The finger goes up and the heavens petrify, time comes to a standstill, earth stops moving and the presenters are shaken to death. Such is the terror of his questions that presenters have to take a green signal from him then only comes faculty. The Topper and The Stopper- Here is Debu aur uski ungali.

#8. “TAKE OF YOUR CLOTHS”: Well No publicity is bad publicity (Does that ring some bells.. yes it was my topic for extempore). You need to get to fame (in 30 seconds) BY HOOK OR BY CROOK.

#7. “YES, I AM SENTI”: Highest contribution to the list and to Div C’s success story. TECHNICALLY (mind it he is not an engineer), ADDING ON TO THE SAME LEAGUE, MAI TOH AJIB SA HO GAYA. But nothing describes him as well as this one. Our Flag Bearer Monk (you get to know about his diet planning & control and you will understand why he is called so) Bansal. Div C would have never been so without him and his sentism.

#6. “MAINE TOH KUCHH KAHA HI NAHI”: Yes he never says a word and that’s how he hunts you down. When he says you are wrong you definitely are, and when he says you are right it means he is ripping your legs apart with such a clinical precision that you come to know about it only when all your saviours are gone and you are left with no clothes (Baba learn from him!!). May be for doing an MBA at NMIMS you don’t need to read between the lines but for saving your *** you have to hear between his lines. Our dearest Dolly, the great gambler on the last bench.

#5. “HOWLY SHIT”: Even an aborigine with his lineage deep into the Canadian culture, would feel ashamed of his accent when he hears those two words from Bauji’s mouth. Gosh Bauji! Tell me where the hell does one get such an accent in UP.

#4. “KYA FUKKALL HAI BE”: Well one of the most often used phrase in Div C last year. Apla Rajiv Bhai has got three mantras in his life first of which he got when he took birth in a Marathi family, second when he attained the voting age and the third when he came to NMIMS..... JAI MAHARASHTRA, JAI RAJA SAHIB, JAI BAJAJ SAHIB.

#3. “YEH TOH BADA WALA HAI”: Our Casanova alias Harshil Bhai has gifted this life-lasting phrase to each one of us. He must have been at the top. However there was this one chink in his ball... errr... wall (arey hamari angreji kamjor hai bhai and no one knows it as well as he does), he himself confused us whether this was his creation or Rajiv’s. Of course he can write it in comments area without fearing the IPR laws I believe.

#2. “ACTUALLY MA’AM WHAT I WANTED TO SAY IS THAT...... SO₂, NH₃, C₂H₄, N₂O₂”: And you have to take your napkins out of your pockets. Well we all know that we speak gas and a hell lot of it in class. But somehow we manage to convince not only others but even ourselves that it all makes sense. There was this one guy in the right last corner of the class who stood up and accepted openly that he does it. But you know when you are bent low and that too with your pants down, you can’t expect that your *** is gonna remain untouched, it is just like giving Sukhi a question and expecting that he will say “I don’t know.”

#1. “SAB MOH MAYA HAI DOST”: The greatest of all, leading the chart with an outrageously large margin. No one has come even closer to this in the history and no one dare try in the near future of Div C. Nothing as brilliantly said as this one. Div C’s punch line. Wait. The list has one more to it. There is yet another line by the very same legend that is as brilliant as this one... “MERI JINDAGI TOH KHULI KITAB HAI” (jis par sab kuchh Roman aur Greek me likha hua hai). You go to Bajaj and tell him that you have topped and he will certainly say... “SAB MOH M AYA HAI DOST”.

So the list ends here. Hope everyone enjoyed it (except when his/her name appeared in the list of course).